You’re engaged. So now what?

Congratulations! You’ve decided to take the plunge and get married. What do you do after you’ve told your family and friends the big news?

Your first step is to discuss what sort of ceremony you’d like. Maybe you’ve dreamt about your wedding day since you were a little girl. Maybe you’ve planned it in your mind down to the last detail. But wait—you’re not the only one getting married. Your ceremony should not only reflect both of you, but should also tread the fine line between what you envision and what your families are expecting.

When I got married, I wanted an outdoor wedding in my parents’ backyard with a polka band. Seriously. My family wanted a church wedding with a reception at their country club. Those two ideas are miles apart and I had no idea how to bridge the gap, so guess what I ended up with. The church and the country club. I can hardly imagine a ceremony that reflected me and my husband less.

Here are some things to consider:
What tone do we want to set? Formal? Casual? Traditional? Completely unique? Do we need a combination of styles to appease different factions?

How religious are we? How religious are our families? You want your ceremony to reflect your spirituality so that it doesn’t ring false, but you don’t want to offend your families. This is easier than you might think.

Who do we want to participate in the ceremony? There are roles for as many people as you would like to honor from bridesmaids and groomsmen to readers and musicians to people bringing in any special elements you may use such as candles, sand or wine.

Once you’ve decided on those three things, finding the venue, officiant, musicians or DJ, florist and photographer will be more straightforward and uncomplicated. Your officiant should be able to guide you so that all your guests say, “That ceremony was so you!”