One of the brides I met with last week asked me about the most unusual wedding I’ve done. I told her about the two most atypical ceremonies that came to my mind and didn’t remember the third until a few of days later.
The most unusual wedding was also one of the loveliest and most meaningful. The bride was Sikh and the groom was Lutheran and they had a double ceremony. We started outside where the groom entered on a white horse with the family beating drums to announce his arrival. Then we went inside and took off our shoes to enter the wedding site. Everyone sat on the floor. The women had colorful scarves covering their heads and the men wore turbans or makeshift head coverings. The Sikh ceremony was fascinating and included the couple walking around the center clockwise. The bride must look solemn to symbolize her sadness at leaving her family, but she found it hard to pull off on such a joyous occasion! Everyone eats Karah Parshad which is semolina, butter and sugar during the ceremony. After the Sikh portion, I presided over a traditional Western ceremony.
A number of years ago, a bride called and asked if I would marry her and her fiancé in their backyard. Naturally I said yes; I love providing a couple with exactly what they imagine. She said it was going to be very casual. She wasn’t kidding! When I got there, they were in their pajamas! The bride had dressed it up by adding pearls. They read the vows they had written to each other, lit a unity candle and then we went in to enjoy cake and champagne.
Last summer I performed a wedding at a Starbucks. The bride worked there. The groom was a regular and so they met. The ceremony was full of coffee puns and the rings were presented on straws in their favorite iced coffee drinks. People coming in to get a beverage wound up being wedding guests. It was unique and fun.
And this weekend I’ll be in Homewood at Bamboo Blue marrying a couple who had their first date there. It’ll be just the three of us. Very romantic.
Most weddings are in more traditional settings, but I enjoy the occasional ceremony that’s completely unique. How will you personalize your wedding?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Perfect Marriage Proposal
One of the perks of my job is getting to hear how couples got engaged. Every story reveals something fundamentally lovely about their relationship.
Some women don’t like to be surprised and so they have a discussion about marriage and then go with their boyfriend to pick out a ring together and it’s all very low key.
But the majority of brides I meet are blown away by the thought and creativity their fiancés have put into planning the perfect surprise. I’ve heard stories about engagements on the tops of mountains, by the sea, in restaurants, at a Cubs game, at home, and in Starbucks among others.
Some of my favorite stories include the man who took his girlfriend to the park they had gone to on one of their first dates. He had gone there earlier that afternoon and placed bouquets of flowers along the path to make it especially beautiful. When they arrived at a bench on the path, he invited his girlfriend to sit down and then got on one knee, pulled out the ring and asked her to marry him.
Another couple got engaged on Valentine’s Day. They each bought the other an M&M plush toy and box of chocolates with Elvis on the top, not knowing that the other had bought the exact same toy and box of candy!
With a Sadie Hawkins-like twist, one woman drove from Carbondale to Chicago to propose to her man. Since she was proposing, she bought a ring for him. What a wonderful way to say, “I don’t want to have a long distance relationship any more”!
I’ve heard more than one story where a man has the dog deliver the ring. Is it for the element of surprise or to lessen the feeling of rejection should his girlfriend say no?
Some men plan dinner in a fancy restaurant, but if that’s not the couple’s style, the woman is sure to know something is up. I was with a couple last week who has a laid-back style and never go to swanky restaurants. So for their engagement the groom took the bride-to-be to their regular casual restaurant and proposed there.
Women can now say yes to a proposal in the Field Museum’s Grainger Hall. For $350 the museum will put the ring in a display case. As your tour the museum and you get to that case, the man can propose, open the case and present the ring. The wedding proposal package includes a champagne toast.
I’d love to hear your story. How did you get engaged?
Some women don’t like to be surprised and so they have a discussion about marriage and then go with their boyfriend to pick out a ring together and it’s all very low key.
But the majority of brides I meet are blown away by the thought and creativity their fiancés have put into planning the perfect surprise. I’ve heard stories about engagements on the tops of mountains, by the sea, in restaurants, at a Cubs game, at home, and in Starbucks among others.
Some of my favorite stories include the man who took his girlfriend to the park they had gone to on one of their first dates. He had gone there earlier that afternoon and placed bouquets of flowers along the path to make it especially beautiful. When they arrived at a bench on the path, he invited his girlfriend to sit down and then got on one knee, pulled out the ring and asked her to marry him.
Another couple got engaged on Valentine’s Day. They each bought the other an M&M plush toy and box of chocolates with Elvis on the top, not knowing that the other had bought the exact same toy and box of candy!
With a Sadie Hawkins-like twist, one woman drove from Carbondale to Chicago to propose to her man. Since she was proposing, she bought a ring for him. What a wonderful way to say, “I don’t want to have a long distance relationship any more”!
I’ve heard more than one story where a man has the dog deliver the ring. Is it for the element of surprise or to lessen the feeling of rejection should his girlfriend say no?
Some men plan dinner in a fancy restaurant, but if that’s not the couple’s style, the woman is sure to know something is up. I was with a couple last week who has a laid-back style and never go to swanky restaurants. So for their engagement the groom took the bride-to-be to their regular casual restaurant and proposed there.
Women can now say yes to a proposal in the Field Museum’s Grainger Hall. For $350 the museum will put the ring in a display case. As your tour the museum and you get to that case, the man can propose, open the case and present the ring. The wedding proposal package includes a champagne toast.
I’d love to hear your story. How did you get engaged?
Friday, February 5, 2010
How do I make my wedding ceremony unique?
As I’ve said, your wedding should reflect you and your fiancé. But how can you make that happen? The best way is to think about what uniquely binds the two of your together. It may be family and friends, travel, enjoying wine, a pet, working for social justice or sports. Whatever it is that helps to define the two of you, weave that into your ceremony as well as into the rest of your wedding.
I have helped couples incorporate those themes, as well as others, into their ceremony.
If family and friends are important and people have traveled a long way to be there for your wedding, mention at the beginning of the ceremony the far-flung cities that are represented by your guests and thank them for coming such a long way.
If you both love to travel together, mention in your couple’s story some of the places you’ve visited and how they helped to deepen your relationship. You can also have photos of those places instead of table numbers at the reception.
If enjoying wine is one of your hobbies, have a wine ceremony as one of the elements in your wedding. There are a number of different ones to choose between, from the traditional French wine ceremony performed when a man and a woman from families of different vineyards get married, to a lovely Jewish ceremony that includes a sweet and a bitter wine representing the sweetness and bitterness of the cup of life that you share.
If your venue will allow you to include your beloved pet and you think he or she will not be overwhelmed, consider having them either walk the bride down the aisle or be the ring bearer. And be prepared for the ceremony to not be focused on you for a minute or two!
A sports-themed wedding can be achieved with or without being over the top. A few years ago I officiated a wedding at Wrigley Field. The bridesmaids wore blue, naturally, and the bride and groom served baseball park snacks for the reception. The local news covered the wedding because it was so unusual — and meaningful for the couple.
Whatever you and your fiancé share can be brought into your ceremony so that your guests will all tell you, “That was so you!”
I have helped couples incorporate those themes, as well as others, into their ceremony.
If family and friends are important and people have traveled a long way to be there for your wedding, mention at the beginning of the ceremony the far-flung cities that are represented by your guests and thank them for coming such a long way.
If you both love to travel together, mention in your couple’s story some of the places you’ve visited and how they helped to deepen your relationship. You can also have photos of those places instead of table numbers at the reception.
If enjoying wine is one of your hobbies, have a wine ceremony as one of the elements in your wedding. There are a number of different ones to choose between, from the traditional French wine ceremony performed when a man and a woman from families of different vineyards get married, to a lovely Jewish ceremony that includes a sweet and a bitter wine representing the sweetness and bitterness of the cup of life that you share.
If your venue will allow you to include your beloved pet and you think he or she will not be overwhelmed, consider having them either walk the bride down the aisle or be the ring bearer. And be prepared for the ceremony to not be focused on you for a minute or two!
A sports-themed wedding can be achieved with or without being over the top. A few years ago I officiated a wedding at Wrigley Field. The bridesmaids wore blue, naturally, and the bride and groom served baseball park snacks for the reception. The local news covered the wedding because it was so unusual — and meaningful for the couple.
Whatever you and your fiancé share can be brought into your ceremony so that your guests will all tell you, “That was so you!”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
